Sunday, February 22, 2009

sobering

In the last 20 months, we had 7 deaths in our lives. First was my biological mother (someone who never could give me what I needed) whose life was cut short due to cancer at a young age of 50 something. Then was our best friend Tazmin (Kelly's Comrade who lived an awesome, full life). My 100 year-old Grandmother, who I am still learning about to this day, died peacefully. Tragically, the man who visited my Grandmother two times a day during meal time and was just about to retire at age 65 perished in an automobile accident that left everyone asking "how" and "why." My father and I were back to having a good relationship and because of his death, I've learned more about how wonderful he truly was. And he absolutely adored Stella! Next was Kelly's favorite aunt, her father's favorite sister and one of ten siblings. We had just visited her in Boston three months prior and had no idea that her life would be taken so quickly. Kelly's friend and client died next of a sudden death. And then Eric, my cousin, tragically took his own life. He was a victim of a disease called depression. He left his wife and two young children. I know that he must have been in hell in his mind.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell everyone that these deaths have made me truly realize, to my core, that my life is wonderful, but short. Now I wake up excited to live each day like it will be my last. No regrets! I am at peace with who I am and I no longer feel angry with anyone. I’ve never felt more at peace with other people, the world and myself.

So here is a little Shaker poem to think about ...

Improve each Moment

Improve each moment as it flies,
Now in this blessed day;
So run that we may win the prize,
There's danger in delay

This day, this hour may be the last,
For death is sure to all,
And not a single minute past,
Can any soul recall.

O Lord, may every breath be drawn
In prayer, in thanks or praise,
That I may say, when time is gone,
I've well impro'd my days.

-Millennial Praises, Containing a Collection of Gospel Hymns
Hancock, Massachusetts
1813